Monday, September 15, 2008
Smart Stepfamilies on Facebook
Well it is about time. Smart Stepfamilies enters the Web 2.0 world and is now on facebook. Click here to go to the Smart Stepfamilies Facebook group.
Lonely Times
Loneliness has nothing to do with the number of people surrounding you. A person surrounded by people could be lonely while a person in a solitary place could be most content and connected.
There are times with some people when being in their own step family is a lonely place. No, it should not be this way. The purpose of forming a new family was quite the opposite of being lonely. It might have been an attempt to solve the loneliness that was already there. Lonely times are never the goal, but sometimes they are the reality
St. John of the Cross might call these lonely times the dark night of the soul. He interpreted these times as a journey toward God. Mother Teresa, the iconic hero of the poor in India, apparently lived nearly her whole adult life in the dark night of the soul, and yet her entire life is also one whose influence made a lasting difference.
The point is this: when these lonely times come, and they probably will, it does not mean that you are worthless or meaningless. Rather, it just might be a call from God to contemplate, to pray, to seek your company with the Divine. Loneliness, after all, might be God calling out your name for a conversation.
There are times with some people when being in their own step family is a lonely place. No, it should not be this way. The purpose of forming a new family was quite the opposite of being lonely. It might have been an attempt to solve the loneliness that was already there. Lonely times are never the goal, but sometimes they are the reality
St. John of the Cross might call these lonely times the dark night of the soul. He interpreted these times as a journey toward God. Mother Teresa, the iconic hero of the poor in India, apparently lived nearly her whole adult life in the dark night of the soul, and yet her entire life is also one whose influence made a lasting difference.
The point is this: when these lonely times come, and they probably will, it does not mean that you are worthless or meaningless. Rather, it just might be a call from God to contemplate, to pray, to seek your company with the Divine. Loneliness, after all, might be God calling out your name for a conversation.
Monday, September 08, 2008
How Not To Win In A Stepfamily
How do you win in a stepfamily?
Some people might think that there is no winning in a stepfamily. I am not sure I can tell you how to win, but I can share a few ways of how not to win.
1. Do not win by making someone else in your family lose.
2. Do not win by making personal satisfaction or comfort your measure of success.
3. Do not win by keeping tabs on how everyone else is being unfair.
4. Do not win by giving up on the family.
5. Do win by impsing the "right way" to be a stepfamily.
Some people might think that there is no winning in a stepfamily. I am not sure I can tell you how to win, but I can share a few ways of how not to win.
1. Do not win by making someone else in your family lose.
2. Do not win by making personal satisfaction or comfort your measure of success.
3. Do not win by keeping tabs on how everyone else is being unfair.
4. Do not win by giving up on the family.
5. Do win by impsing the "right way" to be a stepfamily.
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