Thursday, September 14, 2006

Spiritual Life after Divorce

Let's face it, there are people who hold to the belief that divroced people are not spiritual - or are not even capable of being spiritual. Sadly, some of these people are leaders and decisin makers in churches - maybe even your church.

I known of situations in which people have been banned from certain leadership activities because of their divorced status. In fact, I know of a church or two who will not let a person walk in their building if that person is divorced.

Probably the saddest story I have ever heard related to this was when a minister found out one of the members of his church was divorced and remarried he demanded that the man divorce his second wife and make an attempt to reconcile with his first wife. He divorced his second wife and was unable to reconcile. Can you believe that the anti-divorce minister prescribed divorce as a means of getting right with God? OK, my blood is boiling.

There are better ways to pursue a spiritual life in the wake of a divorce.

Here is an article that gives some encouragement for people who have divorced, even if it was for all the wrong reasons, that they can life an active, full, and relevant spiritual life.

4 comments:

tamiluvsnorm said...

I was in a legalistic baptist church. My ex was a seminary student and was abusive to our family. After our son had to get stitches and was threatened with death from my ex, I went to our pastor and he told me I "wasn't submissive enough" and my ex "was too forceful". That was it!
Praise God we are safe and out of that situation today. But this could have affectd me spiritually. The rejection, the books and letters in the mail of how ungodly I was to divorce.
God however, continued to speak truth through His word, and I was surrounded by Godly parents and close friends who showed me differently. I was grounded enough in who I knew God to be that this did not throw me off track and away from God. I can see however, how others are hurt so terribly (as I was) and have a hard time seeing God's love through the nasty judgemental words of misguided christians.

mrjustryn2survive said...

There is only one thing seperating the disposition of ANY of these legalistic church leaders and yourself - another person's choice. You can't control what someone else chooses to do. If the spouse of that legalist church leader decides he/she wants a divorce or decides to be unfaithful, then that automatically thows this church leader into the same ballpark. Divorce, just like aids or death, is an equal opportunity killer of families. There is a tombstone I once read "Where you are, I once was. Where I am, one day you will be." Alter the word "will" for "could" and it would be very applicable to this topic. I once had a big house in a nice neighborhood, pool in back, etc. I lost it all. But I don't beg God for it back, nor do I envy those who still have these things, because I know they can loose them just as quickly. That's why the Bible says to be quick to restore a man who has fallen so that you don't fall under the same temptation. I believe this verse means to restore someone who is down on their luck because you may be in that position one day too and need the same helping hand.

Fajita said...

tamiluvsnorm,

I am so glad you got out of that mess. Abuse is intolerable. No one gets to hide behind proof-text scriptures to defend his sin. Even if you weren't submissive (whatever that really means), abuse is abuse ia abuse.

You said that it could have affected you spiritually. It did, but perhaps in a strengthening way rather than a destroying way.

May God be with you on this journey.

Anonymous said...

A person that quits and decides to divorce is being rebellious to God. Instead of working to resolve an issue or issues, they will stop at nothing to justify their decision and believe they DESERVE and KNOW better than God-to find for themselves 'peace' and 'happiness' they feel they deserve. God's desire is for marriage to be for life...PERIOD! And if there are children, for the parents to raise the children with Christian morals and values-including:mothers teaching there daughters to love their husbands, husbands teaching their sons to be godly men and treat their wives correctly, forgiveness, committment, faithfulness, working through issues/problems, following God's rules instead of relying on deceptive feelings, trusting in God and allowing Him to heal our relationships instead of taking things into our own hands, etc.

Divorce is an attack by Satan to destroy as many lives as possible...and he's doing a great job at creating ungodly influences in the world leading to adultery, divorce, materialism, self-entitlement, etc.

I'm not advocating a spouse put themselves in physical danger-remove yourself from the situation and be safe, get counseling, demand change, etc.DON'T DIVORCE--WORK AT IT, DON'T GIVE UP, PRAY AND SEEK GOD TO HEAL YOUR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY!!! IF IT'S YOUR SPOUSE, PRAY FOR THEM---BE COMMITTED AND FAITHFUL BEFORE GOD FOR THEM. IT MAY TAKE LONGER THAN A COMERCIAL BREAK-SO HAVE PATIENCE-BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT IN THE END-FOR GENERATIONS AND ETERNITY!!!!

God doesn't cause divorce or desire it for anyone. Divorce is caused by sin...by our own rebellious, selfish, personal will--not God's will.

Yes, if someone is misguided enough to choose to leave their spouse...God can use that sinful decision to bring about good in the life of the offended party. He can eventually heal the victim. But it's not God's perfect will.

Christians are MISGUIDED for wanting to save and heal a marriage???? WHAT???? Do you just marry, divorce, marry, divorce, marry, divorce...etc. till you find the 'right one' or things are 'right'? NO!!! Why would Bible say not to leave your spouse if it didn't mean it. Why would Bible say if you leave to remain unmarried or reconcile with your spouse if that's not what we should do? I'm sure many people call themselves "Christians" but do you live it? Do you really submit yourself to God's authority and His Word at the expense of your own? I'm sure many people can say-"yes, but.." this and "yes, but..." that-and make a case in the Bible for anything you may want the result to be...but if you look at the context of what God's desires are, what God created marriage to be, the principles of being a Christian, of forgiving, the fact that marriage represents our relationship to God, it's between one woman and one man, etc. etc. etc. If you have no agenda, it's pretty clear-God hates divorce, divorce is caused by sin, is used by Satan to cause deep and devastating damage, and should not be contemplated, much less followed through with.