What Jared Really Learned at College

I found the story below at the Stepping Stones Counseling Center web site.

What Jared Really Learned at College by Sheli Dansky-Danziger

April 26, 2003 was a beautiful, crisp, spring day in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Grandparents, siblings, two parents and one step-parent gathered to celebrate Jared's graduation from the University of Michigan. Over 5000 graduates formed a seemingly endless procession into Michigan Stadium where my former husband and I sat together to witness this exhilarating event.

We had a wonderful family weekend filled with spirited meals, picture taking and reminiscing about Jared's four years of college. As we prepared our caravan for the return to Detroit Metro Airport, Jared called his father and me aside. I didn't know what to expect but logically I thought he might be thanking us for this remarkable educational experience. Instead, Jared thanked us for the way we have dealt with our divorce. Jared's father and I were totally caught off guard. Apparently Jared had friends who were forced to have separate celebrations (meals, hotels, seats at graduation, etc.) whereas we were together throughout the weekend. My former husband and I tearfully hugged Jared and told him how proud we were of his accomplishments; we then headed home.

As a divorced and remarried parent I have often felt concerned and saddened for my children. I hoped that they understood and grew from the changes they have endured in their lives. It's reassuring to know that maybe we have all ultimately done well and that Jared truly learned an important life lesson at college.